As you go through life, one thing is for sure. Someone is going to blatantly lie on you. Yet, many people are clueless as to how big of a problem this is. We’ve all experienced heartache, betrayal, treachery, and deceit. I believe the older we get. We build walls of protection to prepare us for the next unexpected dagger [lie] that will be thrown at us.
Honestly! Those lies hurt. Nonetheless, we get up, dust ourselves off, and never deal with the pain of healing. And, those walls of protection, grow taller and stronger, after each attack. That unhealed heart and attitude go into the next friendship or relationship. It suffers. Because we didn’t confront the lie that was told about us, so we sabotage the ones that are closest to us. Sometimes, those relationships go wrong because we’re stuck in the ones from the past.
Unfortunately, the cycle repeats itself. In the meantime, we spend days, months, years beating ourselves up because we’ve been so trusting and didn’t see the warning signs. Are those protective walls and lies detrimental?
Yes, they can be. When others are telling lies about something they don’t know for sure is true, it’s extremely hurtful because they lead to other rumors that can damage someone else’s reputation for a lifetime. The hurtful thing about those lies; people continue to spread rumors without the facts. We all know what it’s like to be wronged, to have the people closest to us treat us worse than any stranger could. Right?
We’ve all been apart of relationships that have turned into enemies and lovers who’ve turned into distant memories. The fact is. We weren’t careful about the information we shared in the beginning. We left unresolved issues unresolved. Simply put, it was the wrong marriage from the start.
We’ve all had our hearts ripped out of our chest at least once, and we’ve all had the wind knocked out of us. But, each time, did we desire to learn from the situation? If not, I’m sure we learned quickly, that a large part of our life would be spent learning how to work through the blows given, and how to bounce back with integrity. Whew! I don’t know about you. That’s the part I’m sure many of us need help with.
Life isn’t about perfect relationships, it’s about respecting one another, even when you don’t know the facts. We have to be open to meeting new people and learning from the ones who have done us wrong. We just need to be careful that the same wrongdoing doesn’t repeat itself. Everyone that comes into our life has a purpose. We need to be aware of that purpose.
In conclusion, I’ve learned you don’t have to act trite because you’ve been lied on. “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.” Romans 12:19. Now, that’s a big promise from God. The tough part is waiting and wondering. I’ve been asking God. “When is the vengeance going to come? I’m sick of the lies that people are spreading about me.” It’s going to take a lot of prayers to keep your mouth from speaking evil or even lashing out because you desperately want people to see the situation from where you’re sitting.
Your opportunity will come. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5. He will strengthen thine heart.” These are habits I’ve developed when lies have been spoken about me. Here’s how to get started: Post the two scriptures I’ve reference somewhere [home, car, office] so you can see them as reminders every day.
Pause – Think about the lie. Give yourself some time to think about it over the coming days and start developing a plan over time.
Clarify the facts – What actually happened with the people involved? Write your responses down to see it more clearly. Ask yourself honest questions.
Do what you can – Reminder, protect yourself from people who wronged you. Get support; it’s important for others to “bear witness” when you’ve been mistreated. Build up your resources – As appropriate, pursue justice, if needed. Sometimes you have to.
React with character – Live by your standards, even if others do not. This will lead others to respect you and create ways for you to tell your story in the future. Upon telling your story, don’t do it maliciously. You don’t want to do to others, what’s been done to you.
Move on – It’s healthy for your own sake. Start releasing your anger, hurtful thoughts, and feelings. Focus on the present, your goals, and your dreams for the future. Be grateful!
God sees you!